I’ve reached 30. Now it’s time for me to insert my head into a tree stump.

In the 1600s, mid-life hit the average individual at 15, and by 30, life had pretty much run its course.

You could say that by the time you figured out what you wanted to do with your life, life had already decided it was done. With you.

A bleak existence, no doubt—but at least it kept things exciting. For most people back then, ‘tomorrow’ wasn’t a guaranteed thing. Great if you are fan of spontaneity. But not so great when most of your kids, friends and neighbors randomly perish from disease, starvation or war.

Fast forward a few centuries, and the script has completely flipped. These days, we fully expect to cruise past 30, with many of us expecting to live to at least 70, 80, or beyond. How greedy.

Yet despite this bountiful gift of extra life, large swaths of Millennials and Gen Zers (who are no strangers to the realms of ungratefulness and irony) instead celebrate the extra decades they’ve been bestowed by mourning the loss of their youth.

Oh god, I’ve woken up and I am 30….I’m old! What a bummer. You mean I have to live more of this shit?

Not only are you being oppressed by every dimension of society, but even the earth’s rotations around the sun are mocking you.

A Poem about turning 30

“Oh, woe is me, for turning 30,
The milestone looms, so bleak, so dirty.
No house, no spouse, no savings to boast,
Just crippling doubt and overpriced toast.

Or bread.”

Now that I have gotten that out of the way, I want to give some thought to where this anxiety comes from. You know, give credit where credit is due, because the 30-life crises epidemic is surely not without some logical reasoning.

Extended Adolescence

Society has become more accepting of extending your adolescence well into your 30s and perhaps even 40s. This certainly has some consequences. Less external pressure means you can delay the acquisition of tangible "adult" accomplishments such as choosing a career, moving out of your parent’s basement etc. This may leave people feeling aimless or "behind” when the big 30 rolls around.

Identity Crisis

The transition from your 20s to 30s often forces people to reevaluate who they are. Questions like “Am I where I want to be?” or “Am I doing what I love?” “Is binge watching a Netflix series every day for a week still OK?” may come to you more frequently. This can cause an identity crisis, especially if the answers feel unsatisfying.

The big S + M words

Social Media, (you knew it was coming) projecting the lives of apparently successful and beautiful people around the world 24/7 directly to you phone and brain. No longer are you in competition with your peers in your tiny ass town in the middle of nowhere, but with everyone from around the world. Fun! As we have become accustomed to projected a false image of ourselves through social media. We have no idea what the long term mental consequences has on the human psyche.

Cognitive Dissonance
There’s a disconnect between how people feel internally and how they perceive they’re "supposed to" behave at 30. Feeling like you're still figuring things out while society expects you to be an "adult" can create tension.

Facing Mortality

It is common for people to start losing their grandparents around 30, which gives you the first taste of death — an acquired taste for sure. If unlike me, you don’t subscribe to the belief of reincarnation, you are likely to start reflecting on the nature of human existence and suffering, the mortal coil as Shakespeare eloquently expressed (It’s a term from Hamlet not a sex toy).

On the flip side

There are always two sides to the story, like two sides to a pancake. So let’s flip this baby over before she gets burnt.

Some of the amazing things about turning 30.

You are less of a moron.

More life experience. More chances to fuck up and pick yourself off the floor repeatedly means you are less of an idiot. This is actually a really amazing accomplishment, especially for some people (not mentioning any names).

You no longer have to stick to a certain career.

Career shifts are the norm now, allowing you freedom to pursue different avenues of professional enlightenment. Your 20s gave you a stick to prod at different work options, learnt from them and so now your vision for what you really want to do is narrower. You might not have everything figured out yet, but at least some of the fog has cleared (and you still have the stick!). Also, there are way more options for working from home (thanks COVID!)

You can opt out of having children and getting married.

While I personally consider the above crucial for the maturation of an individual, having kids and getting married are considered “optional” these days. You’ve been kind of let of the hook here so go and do something meaningful with your free time. However, I would hold off on celebrating too soon from the shackles. Having a family and or long term partnership forces you to get your shit together in life and accept responsibilities (remember those things?). So, if you are deciding not to do these things, better have something meaningful to replace them with.

Still Young Enough to Explore
You don’t need to emulate Christopher Columbus here (and you probably shouldn’t either because I heard he was an asshole) but turning 30 doesn’t mean your geographical location needs to be set in stone. You still have plenty of time to go out and have adventures, uncover more of this vast world, move abroad, start a business, have a sex change if you desperately need one.

More self-awareness

You are now more self aware than an amoeba. Congratulations. This added level of self-awareness allows you to have better relationships with people, you understand your faults and how to correct them better, and this will ultimately lead to better overall life satisfaction.

Freedom from Fear of Missing Out

We all know that Fear of Missing Out is a real thing, especially in your your 20s. Wanting to be everywhere all the time is exhausting, if not physically impossible. Now you can select how and who to spend your time with, without that lingering feeling that great discoveries are being made behind your back.

So in short, turning 30 isn’t so bad. In fact, it really could be the start of one of the best chapters of your life. Think of it like the 2nd or 3rd day of Spring. It’s just a number. Not even. It’s just a curvy line and a circle. It’s you that gives it the meaning. So divorce from semantics for a second. Get out of your parent’s basement and go live your life. The world is really your oyster. Go on, put some in your mouth and taste how juicy they are. And while you are at it, put some lemon on them, it’s on the house (the lemon).