The Slippery Slope of Social Justice
Being a social justice warrior might feel like you're changing the world, but your quest to usher in the utopia often turns into a marathon of self-inflicted chaos, contradiction, and exhaustion. Remember: even the fight for justice could use a little balance, a touch of humor, and, dare I say it, a long nap now and again.
You’re a Walking Contradiction, and Everyone Knows It
Nothing screams authentic activist like tweeting from your smartphone (built with labor you’re advocating against) while sipping coffee from a multinational chain, dressed in clothes made in a sweatshop. The thing with the social justice warrior types is that if you really break it down, they are contributing to many of the problems of scoeity.
. But hey, you signed that online petition, so balance restored, right?
Your Friend Circle Becomes a Minefield
Congratulations. Every gathering now feels like an Olympic-level mental gymnastics event. Did someone just call their dog their "baby"? Better check if that’s offensive to actual parents or real babies. Oh, and don't forget to cancel Uncle Bob for that joke he made in 1998. Who needs casual friendships when you can have a constant moral audit?
You Can Never Enjoy Pop Culture Again
That show you used to love? Problematic. That song that gets stuck in your head? Misogynistic. That childhood movie? Racist. Hope you enjoy documentaries about ethical farming, because that’s all you’ve got left.
You Alienate Everyone Except Fellow Warriors
Don’t worry, your 5 remaining friends are just as exhausted and annoyed as you. The rest? They’ve quietly backed away, hoping you don’t notice their "problematic" love for fast food and superhero movies.
Apologies Are Never Good Enough
Someone admitted their mistake and said sorry? Ha! That’s just the start. Now they need to write a public statement, donate to 12 charities, and spend six months atoning. Anything less is performative, obviously.
You Constantly Outrage Yourself
At some point, you’ll run out of things to be mad at, so you’ll start turning on yourself. Did you forget to recycle last week? Oops, you’re complicit in climate change. Bought something from Amazon? You’re single-handedly ruining small businesses. Better start drafting your apology post.
Your Social Media Feels Like a Lecture Hall
Remember when Instagram was for cute vacation photos? Not anymore. Your feed is a mix of infographics, angry captions, and petitions. Your followers are either exhausted or muted you months ago. But hey, keep reposting those statistics!
You Forget How to Laugh
Humor? That’s a slippery slope, my friend. What if it’s offensive? Or reinforces stereotypes? Or isn’t progressive enough? Soon, the only thing left to laugh at is your dwindling number of friends. But hey, laughter is overrated anyway, right?
You’re Perpetually Exhausted
You’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, and no one is even thanking you for it. Meanwhile, your neighbor just posted a sunset photo with the caption “Good vibes only,” and you’re plotting a 10-point rebuttal.
You Become That Person at Parties
Remember when parties were for fun? Not anymore! Now you’re the buzzkill explaining why their Halloween decorations reinforce colonial narratives. The only thing scarier than that fake spiderweb is the look people give you when you bring up labor exploitation at the snack table.
You Forget What Fun Is
Was that a laugh you just stifled? How dare you! Fun is for people who don’t care about the plight of endangered otters. Better delete that TikTok video—you can’t risk anyone thinking you’re frivolous.